In Honor of Gina and Leigh
“May I ask you a personal question? Did your friend take her own life?” What a shocking question to ask a complete stranger. My friend Gina had taken her life on January 3, 2009, the day before her 41st birthday. Although I have lost friends to illnesses, and I deal with death quite frequently as an estate planner and probate attorney, I have never experienced the loss of a loved one through their own horrific act. Quite frankly, it rocked my personal foundation. On January 31, I reluctantly attended an event for an out-of- town speaker/author. The evening was hosted by one of my business clients and I wanted to show my support. In his intro, the speaker briefly spoke of a friend who had passed; however he never mentioned the manner in which she died. During the course of the evening, each time he mentioned her name I had an overwhelming impulse to cry. The inner emotional pain was extraordinary. When he concluded, I walked over to him and diplomatically blurted out the question, “Did your friend take her own life?” Although he looked at me somewhat surprised, he answered, “Yes, she did.” I explained to him that I had just lost a friend to suicide. We briefly exchanged niceties, signed each other’s books and said good-bye. Or so we thought. I added him to my e-zine list and in the February edition I wrote a brief tribute to Gina. I mentioned that she had been my horseback riding and egg therapy partner. He e-mailed me to say that Leigh had also been into horses. After numerous e-mail exchanges and discovering the many similarities between Gina and Leigh, we realized that this was no coincidence. We both agreed that, although we didn’t like being a member of the club, having each other to talk to about our loss allowed us both to heal. Another piece of the puzzle emerged and The GINA Foundation began. This is an organization I decided to begin the week of Gina’s passing. GINA stands for Girls In Need of Assistance. The subtitle is LEIGH – Love Encouragement Inspiration Giving Hope. The foundation will provide various programs to assist girls in embracing their own empowerment and self-esteem. Programs will also support women ages 40 and up to re-discover and re-engage their inner beauty and self-worth that may have been diminished through bitter relationship struggles, financial hardships, physical issues and other life challenges. The Foundation will also provide education and resources on the signs and prevention of suicide. It was not my intention to begin the foundation this year, only to begin a dialogue. The simple dialogue that I wanted to initiate - has transformed into a full blown discussion. And it is something we all need to talk about. Here’s why:
- A woman takes her own life every 90 minutes in the U.S., but it is estimated that one woman attempts suicide every 78 seconds.
- Women attempt suicide three times as much as men.
- Every 16 minutes, someone in the U.S. dies by suicide. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among teen and young adults in the U.S. and the 2nd leading cause of death among college-age young adults.
- Suicide is more common among women who are single, recently separated, divorced, or widowed.
- The precipitating life events for women who attempt suicide tend to be interpersonal losses or crises in significant social or family relationships.
- The suicide rates for women peak between the ages of 45-54 years old, and again after age 75.
- The best way to prevent suicide is through early detection, diagnosis and treatment of depression and other mood disorders.
- Depression affects more than 20 million people each year in the U.S.
- Depression is among the most treatable of all mood disorders. More than 80% of people with depression respond positively to treatment. (statistics adopted form the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)
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